I love blogging. So much so that I’ve been writing on my blog since 2009. When I began writing on my little corner of the internet I was going through a bit of a tough time. I used writing as an escape. I focused on things that I loved and enjoyed and it really helped with my mood. Fast forward a few years and here I am today. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about this on my blog before but I suffer from anxiety and depression. I have done for a number of years now. Some days I struggle. I feel on edge over the slightest of things and find normal day to day tasks difficult.
If you’ve never suffered from anxiety then you’ll probably have no idea at all about what I’m talking about. There are days in my life when my anxiety takes over. The simplest of tasks like having a conversation with someone or taking a bus into town feel impossible. I feel tense and I fear the worst case scenario in every situation. Anxiety eats away at me and I end up becoming physically ill because of the stress.
Physically I feel light headed, my breathing becomes faster, my heart speeds up, I get a churning feeling in my stomach, I’m restless, I get painful migraines, I have problems sleeping, I grind my teeth at night, I sweat like there’s no tomorrow and occasionally I am sick. Basically, anxiety sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. If like me you have anxiety or you simply want to understand the disorder better Mind have a great information section all about anxiety on their website which is well worth a read.
So where the hell have I been?
Recently my anxiety has been worse than usual. I’m not going to go into specifically why because I feel like that is a personal thing that I don’t wish to share on the internet for all to read. However, as I’ve been absent from my blog for around two months I felt like I owed my readers an explanation as to my lack of presence.
At first, I felt quite guilty for taking a blogging break. However, I’ve come to realise that my mental health and wellbeing is way more important. Then it got me thinking, why should we feel guilty in the first place for taking a blogging break? The answer is we shouldn’t. If you feel like you need time out from being online whether to enjoy your personal life or take a step back like myself, you should never feel bad about that. Take time for yourself and don’t worry about what anyone else’s thoughts or opinions.
What have I done with my time away from blogging and social media?
Although I haven’t written on my blog for around two months I haven’t had a complete blanket ban on social media. I’ve still posted the occasional tweet and I’ve been keeping up with posts but I have taken a slight step back which I feel has been quite beneficial for my overall mood. Instead, I’ve been spending a lot of time catching up with old friends, having a few days out and listening to a lot of music.
I feel like music has really helped with my anxiety. Particularly with calming me down and it is definitely something I’d like to delve into more here on my blog. I know in both in my June Favourites and July Favourites I mentioned a little bit about some songs I’ve been enjoying but I definitely feel like music is a topic I want to add to my blog in the future. For now, feel free to check out my playlist below to see what other songs I’ve been enjoying.
In terms of the future of my blog, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. However, I’m not going to commit to any schedules or make empty promises about content. I will definitely continue to post on my little corner of the internet. However, I will be doing so whenever takes my fancy. I feel like over the past few years the whole blogging scene has become so serious. I just feel like, for me, blogging should remain that fun activity that I thoroughly enjoy. Don’t get me wrong having a schedule in place is great for consistency. However, part of me also feels that for me personally, it makes it sort of feel like a chore which is not something I’m keen on.
Have you ever took a blogging break? Do you suffer from mental health problems?